In 2019, I began getting into the foyer of my home as if it were a studio of dance. The wall of mirrors lent itself naturally and though the floor space is all of 12’x6′, it is the perfect container for minimally expansive exploration. At the time, I was working a full-time arts management job, running an arts production side-hustle, while also mothering and being a wife, so there was no time to get to a dance studio. For a decade I had shifted my movement practice, my dancing, to the side, or rather, in a downward suppression. And because nothing is permanent, the desire for an outlet to creatively process what I was going through eventually pulled on me to a point where I could no longer deny it. I needed to move.
Whether I have a luxurious hour, or even only five minutes to spare, I give myself that time to move through whatever it is I am feeling. I did not realize it at the outset, but this time has become a development of a personal practice. It is a deeply personal space, and at the same time, in sharing it publicly on my Instagram platform, perhaps I could offer the world a little tenderness exposed. Our world values toughness to such a degree that it literally kills us. We all carry the grief of some confluence of loss and heartbreak. So why not publicly share my process of leaning into my own surrender, this tenderness of existence because there is nothing left to give. And what if that inspires others to carve out their own processing, healthy, creative practice, whatever that means to them?
This gallery of videos is a sampling of these sessions from over the years. Intentionally without audio in this context, it is the movement dynamic and quality that does the speaking.
“I give myself that time to move through whatever it is I am feeling.”
“The movement dynamic and quality that does the speaking.”